


Irresistible

by GothicBarbie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Dirty Talk, Finger Sucking, First Kiss, First Time, French Kissing, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, One Shot, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pining, Porn With Plot, Riding, Rimming, Shower Kissing, Sneaking Around, Swallowing, Voyeurism, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 23:05:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicBarbie/pseuds/GothicBarbie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It shouldn't be this hard to enjoy sex with your girlfriend.</p><p>or</p><p>The one where Liam can't make things work properly with Danielle so Harry offers to help him out and things get a little out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irresistible

**Author's Note:**

> why do my one shots always end up being so long?
> 
> its impossible to write porn without feelings, sorry.

He tosses and turns. He can’t seem to get comfortable. Sleep is useless, not when he's all wound up like this. It’s almost 3 am and Liam has been thrashing in bed for three hours now, his mind racing.

He seems to get like this a lot lately, feeling stressed and tense and trying harder than ever to will himself to sleep, to stop thinking about it. But it’s impossible. Liam finds his mind going back to the problem and he finds worry rising in the pit of his gut.

It shouldn't be this hard to enjoy sex with your girlfriend.

Danielle is gorgeous and she loves him and she tries really hard, but whenever Liam is with her it feels like more work than pleasure.  It shouldn't be this impossible to simply get off.

In the old days it would be easy. She barely had to wrap her hands around him and stroke softly and he'd be coming within minutes, but lately they've done absolutely everything and nothing ever works anymore. Liam tries not to think that there's something wrong with _him,_ after all, he still manages to get himself off, even though he tries to resist doing it as much as possible. He thinks maybe if he abstains it’ll make things easier with Danielle, but so far, no luck. He can’t hold off any longer and finds himself putting a hand around his swelling cock, jerking roughly. If he's gonna get any sleep tonight this has to happen.

It works, but it’s not quite the same. He wants more than anything to feel that excitement and that high from someone else's mouth closing around him. He finds himself fantasizing about it all the time. He wishes more than anything that they could figure this out.

His problems have put him in a mood lately and all the boys have noticed. He's been snappy and pissy and when they joke that he needs to get laid, he ignores it, even if it’s true. He wants to say "I'M TRYING" but it’s no use and the embarrassment is too great.

But then one day Harry is plopping beside him and squeezing his shoulders, begging Liam to just suck it up and tell him what’s wrong and for whatever reason Liam finds himself spilling his guts.

“I can’t get off with her.” He says probably a little louder than necessary. He doesn’t even have to say who, it’s obvious that he’s talking about Danielle and Harry looks a little taken back.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting you to say that.” Harry laughs but Liam doesn’t find it funny.

He feels stupid immediately and stands to leave but Harry is pulling him back by the arm and sitting him down.

“What’s the problem?” Harry asks, completely sincere and Liam finds himself wanting to confide in someone.

He spills everything to Harry. Telling him how difficult it’s been for him lately, that he’s going crazy and that that Danielle is sweet but she doesn’t seem to have a clue.

“Well have you told her what you want her to do?” Harry asks simply, as if it’s that easy.

“I don’t want to hurt her feelings.“ Liam explains, looking at the ground.  Maybe Harry wasn’t the person he should have come to about this. But he’s not sure than any of the other boys would understand either.

“You won’t” Harry replies, putting a hand on Liam’s shoulder.

Suddenly the contact feels a little odd considering the subject.

“I don’t know what to say.”

Harry laughs again. “Just tell her exactly what you want her to do to you.”

Liam’s quiet. To be honest he doesn’t have any specific requests, he just needs something to change.

Harry can tell by his lack of response that he’s unsure. “What do you like?” He tries again but Liam is too embarrassed to say anything. He has a few ideas but he’s not sure he can say them out loud.

Then Harry starts talking, he’s trying to give Liam some ideas on what to say but everything’s coming out more sexual then it should. He’s talking about rimming (which Liam never wants to try) and fingering, dirty talk and different positions, the amount of ideas that Harry has is endless and Liam can feel himself getting hard just thinking about it.  This freaks Liam out a little, he really shouldn’t be turned on listening to his band mate, but to be fair he’s talking about really dirty things. It’s only natural.  Liam tells him to stop before it gets too uncomfortable and then awkwardly thanks Harry for the advice.

He goes back to his room and jerks off to some of the ideas that Harry came up with, and then tries to fall asleep, guilt overcoming him. It’s definitely not normal that within 5 minutes of talking to Harry he got more worked up then he ever has with Danielle.

 

\--

 

The next time he’s with Danielle he tries some of Harry’s advice. Half of it is just was too hard to talk to  her about, the other half she makes a decent attempt at, but still, it doesn’t seem to have the desired effect. He tries harder than ever but he can’t get worked up. Liam thinks that maybe he’s psyching himself out. Worrying about it probably isn’t helping the sitation.

Then his mind starts moving quicker, wondering if it’s Danielle. Maybe he just isn’t attracted to her anymore. But their relationship is perfect. Surely they can get past this. Then his thoughts seems to wander back to Harry, which is _weird_ and Liam immediately tries to force those thoughts away. He tries not to feel too ashamed as he heads home the next morning.

Once again Liam’s attitude is at a low and he’s reflecting it on all of the boys. Harry notices immediately and pulls him aside after a show.

“Things still not working?”

He says it with a hint of a smile, which pisses Liam off more, but there’s no one else he can talk to about this so he just nods slightly and looks away, embarrassed.

Harry seems to notice his frustration and puts a hand on his leg, massaging lightly.

“I think it’s normal to get bored after a while. Just give it time?” He says the last part with some hesitancy and Liam can understand why, he knows it’s been going on for a while.

“Harry, I have. It's just not working. I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Harry pauses for a moment, removing his hand and the older boy can tell that he’s thinking.

Harry’s focus shifts downward and he looks a little embarrassed himself before finally speaking, “can you still…. ya know?”

And Liam knows what he’s asking.

“Yes.” Liam says immediately. Of course he can still get hard. That’s not the issue. “Everything works fine when I’m alone.”

Saying it out loud, Liam realizes just how pathetic he sounds.

“Maybe you need to try it with someone else?” Harry asks, again with hesitancy as if he’s not sure how Liam will react.

“I’m not cheating on her, Harry.” Liam says firmly. It’s not really Danielle’s fault that this is happening.

“I know you don’t want to, but you might have to…”

Liam is skeptical.

“You know, just to see if it works with someone else. Then you’ll know.”

Liam still isn’t sure. And who could he even ask to do that?

 “And hey, if it doesn’t work, then it’s technically not cheating anyway.”

Harry smirks then and Liam can’t help but smile. It’s not funny, but Harry’s humor is definitely helping to lighten the mood a little bit.

“Yeah? Who I am I supposed to ask?”

“Someone you can trust?” Harry says and he makes it sound so simple. “A _friend_ , maybe?”

And there’s something in the way that Harry says it, mixed with how he’s looking at Liam that makes Liam wonder. Harry’s sexuality is pretty fluid, even though he’s never talked about it, it’s just something that’s _obvious._ Liam’s never flat out asked, but he’s pretty sure his crush on Louis was real at one point. And he’s also pretty sure that him and Nick had a fling not too long ago. Could Harry really be suggesting that he experiment with _him_?

Liam doesn’t mean to react so badly, but it’s sort of his instinct to pull away when he gets embarrassed.

“What are you implying?” Liam asks a little harshly, pulling away from Harry and creating some much needed space between the two. Suddenly Liam’s face feels hot and he feels like he can’t really breathe.

“I’m not implying anything.” Harry says calmly, putting his hands up as if to surrender. But Liam can tell that’s lying. He’s only trying to save face.

“We’re _friends_ Harry.”

And then Liam isn’t really sure because he’s backing out of the room but he thinks he hears Harry mutter softly behind him, “exactly”.

Without allowing himself to even ponder the meaning of that he leaves. It’s getting too crowded in here and he doesn’t want to say something he might regret.

 

\--

 

Liam cant stop thinking about what Harry had offered. And even though none of it was concrete, he knew exactly what Harry had been referring to. Maybe Harry was okay with that, but Liam certainly wasn’t. Harry was like a brother to him, sort of. And sure, he trusted him completely and he knew that Harry would never say anything to Danielle or the guys but it just couldn’t happen. Liam wasn’t gay. He wasn’t even the least bit curious.

_So how does that explain the other night?_

Liam’s thoughts are battling around in his head. After Harry gave him “advice” that first night Liam had no problem finding his release. But _surely_ , that had nothing to do with Harry. Or did it?

Liam forces himself to go to sleep and stop thinking about it.

Except he doesn’t stop thinking about it. In fact, it's probably the _only_ thing he thinks about lately. A week goes by and nothing has changed really. Not with Danielle and not even with Harry. They are still as close as they’ve always been. Harry isn’t acting any different, which partly frustrates Liam but also makes Liam sure that his instincts were correct in going to Harry with his problems. At least he knows he wont spill his guts. Which just makes Liam wonder what else Harry could keep secret.

 

\--

 

Liam tries talking himself out of going but it’s really no use. He can’t help be a little curious now (damn Harry and his stupid suggestions) and he thinks if it can help things, he has to try it. Nothing else is getting him anywhere. At the very least he knows he can trust Harry. He knows if he wants to stop Harry will back off in a heartbeat. But that doesn’t stop the sweat from glistening on his forehead or his hands shaking uncontrollably as he walks into Harry’s dressing room.

He doesn’t even have to say anything really. He just kind stands there, looking at Harry all nervous and Harry stares at him from the back of the room;. giving him a chance to back out. But Liam doesn’t move. Just stares back and waits for Harry to do something. Eventually Harry stands and walks slowly towards Liam, stopping a few feet in front of him.

 “No one can know.” Liam says quietly and he can’t even believe that the words are coming out of his mouth but Harry is just nodding and at least he isn’t making Liam feel stupid. Liam thinks maybe this could work, and then he would finally _know_ what was wrong. Or at least, get a better idea.

And then Harry is turning around and walking back towards the couch that’s in the corner of the room and Liam follows. “Only once.” Liam says firmly to Harry’s back, hoping he’s clear.

Harry turns around and smiles at him then, jokingly says “there’s a first time for everything” and stands in front of the couch, not sitting.

Liam is still nervous but he feels somewhat comfortable with Harry still and he sits down on the couch, unsure of what to do with his hands and where to look.

“Don’t stress.” Harry says, and it's actually soothing, the way he’s smiling at Liam and looking at him like nothing bad could happen from this, even though part of Liam is regretting it already.

Then Harry is kneeling on the floor and looking up at Liam with his green eyes that seem to be sparkling in this dim light and he whispers so quietly that Liam almost doesn’t hear.

“Take off your shirt.”

 

\--

 

“Why?” Is the first thing out of Liam’s mouth.

It’s not exactly a stupid question, he thinks to himself. If this is just about getting off and nothing more, then he doesn’t understand why he has to get naked. Not that he’s embarrassed. He’s actually pretty proud of his body and Harry has seen him naked a hundred times. But somehow this feels different.

Harry just sits up on his knees and looks right at him, “trust me.”

Liam wants to move but he finds himself frozen on the spot. And then Harry is rolling his eyes, leaning in and pushing his shirt up on his own. There’s no hesitancy in his movements which Liam finds curious but it also makes things a little easier.

He doesn’t take it all the way off, just pushes it up so that it’s far enough out his way and he places his lips in the middle of Liam’s chest.

Liam’s in so much shock that he just watches silently, and it’s not until Harry’s lips reaches his stomach that Liam finally asks “what are you doing?”

Obviously he has a pretty good idea of what Harry is doing but it feels necessary to fill the silence.

Harry stops then, looking up at Liam and smiling, “trying to get you in the mood… just relax.”

Liam tries to follow his instruction, even though this entire situation is completely out of his comfort zone. Harry’s confidence is helping things though and he can admit that it actually feels really, really good. He hates to admit this and was secretly kind of hoping that it wouldn’t work, but he’s already getting hard. He chalks it up to the fact that this is wrong and weird and something he would never ever do and that’s why he’s so turned on.

He still can’t believe that Harry is actually doing this, if any of the other boys walked through the door things could get really bad, but thankfully they are out doing God knows what, and the door is locked.

Harry begins unbuttoning Liam's pants then, quickly pulling the zipper down and dragging his jeans slowly down his legs. Again, he doesn’t pull them all the way down, they just pool at his ankles and Harry begins rubbing his legs, his face coming dangerously close to his erection.

Liam can feel his face get hot. Even though Harry is a friend he still can’t help but feel embarrassed. But he doesn’t have a lot of time to think about it because Harry begins _breathing_ then, his breath hot, ghosting through Liam’s boxers.

Harry is doing things that Danielle has done before but it’s causing a completely different reaction in Liam today. When Harry finally stops teasing and actually pulls Liam’s boxer’s down, exposing his dick, he almost forgets to think. He can’t believe that Harry is actually seeing him like this, flushed and swelling and already leaking.

But Harry certainly doesn’t seem to mind and he dips his head in and begins licking.

Liam desperately wants to lay back and enjoy this but he can’t stop thinking about the situation that they are in and thinks it might be too much for right now.

Liam has to look away when Harry’s tongue finds its way down and starts lapping over his balls, hands never leaving Liam’s cock. _Harry certainly knows what he’s doing_ , Liam says to himself, and then immediately thinks what a weird thought that is. He realizes that this should be awkward, but it really isn’t.

Then Harry moves back up and finally takes Liam all the way in, moving slow at first and then picking up speed. Liam can feel the top of Harry’s throat brushing against his dick each time he moves up and down and it feels so good that Liam has to grip his shoulders to keep still. He feels so shaky and lightheaded and Harry is using his hand more as he moves and Liam isn’t sure how much longer he can last.

He’s definitely better at this then Dani ever was and the way Harry’s head and curls keep hitting his stomach as he bobs makes his orgasm rise quickly. It’s Harry’s mouth that finally does it, what pushes him to the edge; its the pressure he’s using with his tongue and how Liam can see his own pre-come slosh around in his mouth when he pulls off and then back down.

“Harry… I’m…” is as big of a warning as he can give before Harry is pulling off and then Liam is coming all over his own chest and stomach, a small drop even landing on his shirt that Harry quickly wipes away.

Liam tries not to think about how disappointed he is that Harry didn’t swallow, but then decides that _of course he wouldn’t_ and looks around for something to clean up with. But Harry is quick and he hands Liam a shirt, presumably one of his own that he picked up from the floor.

“Are you sure?” Liam asks, nodding towards the shirt, he doesn’t want to ruin it and Harry just shakes his head and responds, “I didn’t like it much anyway.”

Then Harry stands and just watches Liam as he cleans himself up and tries to dress, feeling embarrassed again. He can’t believe that he just came in front of Harry, worse, that Harry was responsible for it. But it’s a little late to freak out now, it happened.

Once he’s fully dressed Harry just smirks at him and says, “Well, I guess it still works.”

Liam thinks it’s probably a little unfair, maybe Harry is just really good at giving head or something. But even as he says it to himself he knows there’s probably a better explanation for why it was so easy for him to get off with Harry and not Danielle. Again, he pushes the thoughts away.

“Maybe now you can give Dani some better ideas?”

Liam only nods but deep down he knows it’s probably a lost cause with her. Now that he’s done this with Harry he knows what he’s been missing this entire time. The fact that Harry is not only a band mate and a friend but also a MALE is not lost on him but he’s just not ready to face the reality of the situation. Maybe just maybe it can still work with Danielle. He has to give her a shot.

Liam goes to stand, feeling completely awkward and unsure if he should say “thank you” or something, but realizes that’s a stupid idea and heads towards to the door. Right before he gets out Harry is calling out to him, “just be sure to tell her to swallow”.

 

\--

 

Liam swears he’s not gonna do it again but he can’t help it when he finds himself at Harry’s door for a second time. He’s practically given up on Danielle, avoiding sex with her now almost completely. He kind of knew beforehand that it was never gonna work with her but he had to at least try and save the relationship. The only thing preventing him from just ending it now was that he didn’t want to accept the fact that it wasn’t working because she was a girl, and not really because of anything else. On top of that, it gives him the excuse to keep going back to Harry. Not that Harry would even agree to let this continue, maybe Liam would be turned away, but he had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen.

Again he doesn’t even really have to say anything, just looks at Harry with his sad eyes and Harry is ushering him in the door. Liam is very thankful that Harry isn’t asking questions. He simply just understands what Liam is feeling and it makes this entire situation much easier.

Liam sits on the couch again, pretty much the exact same spot as before but this time Harry is moving much quicker, unbuttoning Liam’s trousers fast and yanking them off along with his pants, not even bothering with his shirt this time. It seems like Harry knew this was going to happen because he’s pulling out a small bottle of lube, as if he was preparing, and slicks some on his finger.

“What are you doing?” Liam barely whispers, realizing there’s probably no point in asking, Harry usually just does what he pleases. He should have figured that sexually he’d be no different.

Harry doesn’t even bother with a response and only pulls on Liam’s legs, bringing him closer to the edge of the couch so that his bum is hanging nearly off the edge.

Liam has no time to ask anything else before Harry is pushing one of his slicked fingers inside of Liam’s hole. He should have expected it once he saw the lube but he didn’t let it register and it’s extremely weird for him.

“Harry, wait…” Liam begins, attempting to get Harry to pull out, he’s not sure he’s ready for this but Harry just looks up at him sweetly.

“Trust me”.

He says for the second time since they’ve started doing this and Liam thinks that maybe he should.

“It’ll feel good, I promise.”

Liam squirms a bit underneath him and wonders when exactly that’s going to happen. Because right now it hurts.

“Have you ever done this before?” Harry asks him all innocent-like and continues to push his finger in slowly.

Liam shakes his head no and Harry smiles, “I can tell. You’re really tight.”

His words shouldn’t turn Liam on, but he can’t help it, they do, and Liam feels like an inexperienced teenager again in Harry’s presence.

After a while Harry is pulling his finger out and wiping it off and Liam wants to know why he’s stopped.

“We’ll work our way up.” He says with a smirk before he’s putting his hand on Liam’s dick and stroking him to full hardness.

Liam wonders what he means by that. If they are gonna work their way up to anything then that must mean there’s going to be a next time. And it’s not that Liam is complaining about that, but the fact that Harry is so sure of it scares him a little bit. When this all started he didn’t think it was going to be more than once thing but now he wonders if that’s secretly always what he wanted.

He’s definitely relieved that he can keep doing this though; no one’s made him feel this good in his life.

As Harry sucks on him Liam’s focus moves downward and he can see Harry stroking himself through his jeans. Liam feels guilty; he hasn’t really thought about Harry in all of this and wonders if he should be reciprocating. He’s definitely not ready for that though and he hopes that Harry doesn’t mind.

The feeling that he isn’t the only one here who is turned on by all this definitely hits him hard in the gut and he can already feel his orgasm sneaking up on him. He allows himself to fall back against the couch this time, fingers moving behind Harry’s head and Harry makes a small moan at the touch.

  _Yeah, this definitely needs to keep happening._

\--

 

And it does. Again and again and again. Sometimes in the dressing room, but in different places too, like the tour bus, and closets, and bathrooms. But never in a bed, that would feel too intimate.

It’s always Harry going down on Liam too, never the other way around. Liam thinks he should probably be returning the favor but Harry never asks and he doesn’t want to think about that just yet. Harry continues to palm himself during these sessions and Liam wonders if maybe he’s starting to get frustrated at not getting any release himself.

Other than blow jobs, Harry has kept up with the fingering and Liam’s actually grown to enjoy it. He’s worked his way up to getting three inside of Liam now and he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have Harry inside of him instead, but banishes the thought almost immediately.

 Liam finally broke things off with Danielle, but didn’t have the guts to tell Harry about it. He’s afraid that if he says something Harry might stop wanting to do this. So he just keeps his mouth shut about it and gives vague answers, telling Harry that he thinks all of his help may be working.

One time when they are messing around Harry has his fingers inside of Liam, and his mouth on him and as he moves them in and out he ends up hitting his prostate. Liam can’t believe how good it feels and he grabs Harry’s hand, barely able to warn Harry in time before he comes.

Harry still doesn’t swallow and part of Liam wants to ask him why, surely Harry isn’t afraid to, but he thinks maybe Harry is doing it for his benefit. He wants to tell Harry that it’s okay, they should try it, but he doesn’t know how.

 

\--

 

Then things change drastically when Harry finally discovers that Liam isn’t actually dating Danielle anymore.

Liam’s on set, the boys are filming a photo shoot, and he’s eating his lunch in one of the break rooms when Harry comes storming in the door, shutting and locking it behind him.

“You broke up with Danielle?” He shouts, and Liam hopes it wasn’t too loud.

Liam sighs, putting his fork down to look at Harry, “yeah.” He says quietly. He wasn’t sure how Harry would have reacted but he didn’t really think it would be like this.

Harry looks around, which Liam finds odd because they are the only ones in the room and then sits in front of Liam, lowing his voice.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Harry questions, green eyes practically burning a hole through Liam’s.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Liam tries to calm him, but he knows it’s the wrong choice of words when he sees Harry’s eyebrows rise.

“Not that big of a deal?” He asks, throwing up his hands for emphasis. “I thought the whole point of this was to help you give her some tips?“

Liam doesn’t really know what to say, Harry is completely right.

“But if you guys broke up then you don’t really need me anymore. You can go fuck some other girl.”

There’s no way that Liam can tell Harry that he actually enjoys their time together. That Harry makes him feel comfortable and that deep down it’s not all about the sex. He also can’t tell him about his conflicting feelings. But maybe he can hint at it.

“I was afraid if I tried it with another girl… it still wouldn’t work.”

Harry definitely understands and he looks at Liam with these sad eyes. Liam doesn’t want Harry feeling bad for him, thinking that he’s some closeted confused kid. The truth is Liam has always been attracted to girls… but there was something different about Harry. It's messing with his head.

“I just think that with other people I’m psyching myself out… putting too much pressure on myself. But, I don’t do that with you.”

Harry’s eyes soften at Liam’s words and he looks away for a minute, clearly unsure how to respond.

Liam continues. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to stop.”

Harry’s focus flicks back to Liam. Liam thinks he sees what looks to be hope in his eyes, but quickly dismisses the idea.

“I understand if you think it’s weird though.”

Harry takes a breath and then stands from his seat.

“It’s not weird, Liam. Or I wouldn’t be doing it.” He paces the room a little before talking again. “I guess it can keep happening, but not for that much longer okay? I just don’t know if it’s the smartest thing for the band, ya know?”

Liam nods immediately, completely understanding, although Harry didn’t really seem to think that was an issue before. Internally he’s a little upset at Harry’s words but he’s probably right.

“Just a little longer?”

Liam hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s begging.

 

\--

 

Even though Harry has agreed to let it continue, something changes after that. It’s unspoken but Harry is acting differently. In front of the camera nothing has changed, Harry acts the same and none of the boys notice anything, but behind closed doors Harry is a lot quieter. He’s a lot more mechanical with his actions. The sessions with Liam happen less frequently (and Liam always worries that each time will be the last) and Harry doesn’t seem to enjoy them as much anymore. He seems to get Liam off quicker and quicker each time and the fingering has stopped happening all together. Liam wants to ask Harry what’s wrong but it’s awkward enough as it is.

Maybe Harry feels like Liam’s using him? Which, he supposes he kind of is, but how was that any different from what they were doing before? Now that he doesn’t have a girlfriend maybe Harry just feels weird about it and he’s too nice to say anything? Maybe he’s started to put the pieces together and worked out Liam’s feelings.

Liam knows he should probably stop things before they get too uncomfortable but he just can’t. He’s being selfish but he _needs_ this.

 

\--

 

Then one night Liam is asleep in his hotel bed, thankfully he didn’t have to share with anyone this time and just as he’s about to drift off to sleep he can hear the sound of a room key slotting through the door. He knows that it’s Harry immediately because Liam had given him the spare key earlier in the weekend, secretly hoping he would want to use it. But Harry had been more distant than ever lately and he figured it wouldn’t happen.

Liam is about to ask Harry what’s going on, try to be cordial but he doesn’t even have time to think because Harry is crawling onto the bed and into Liam’s lap. His legs are straddling Liam’s, which are underneath the sheets and Liam can barely see Harry, its dark in the room and his eyes haven’t quite adjusted yet.

“Harry?” Liam asks quietly.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” Harry says in a hushed whisper, voice all raspy.

Liam’s thrown off over how strait forward Harry is being right now, and partly wants to ask him what’s going through his mind, but he doesn’t want to let this chance get away from him and he finds himself nodding frantically.

Liam slowly realizes that this is the first time they’ve done this in an actual bed. They’ve also never ever messed around this late in the night before but it’s a thrill and Liam wants to enjoy it.

Harry immediately begins stripping off his clothes and Liam would be lying if he said he wasn’t confused because he’s never seen Harry naked (at least not in this context) and he wasn’t exactly prepared for it. It’s still pretty dark but he’s able to make out Harry’s body and he can see already how hard he is.

Then Harry is ripping off Liam’s clothes too and all he can do is let it happen. He’s certainly not gonna deny Harry but he feels a little shy. Though, despite the usual bit of awkwardness it feels like a natural progression in their relationship, or _fuck_ , whatever this is.

Harry situates himself between Liam’s legs, which is also different because usually he’s kneeling on the floor but now Harry is hovering over him, crowding into his space and Liam feels like he can barely breathe. Harry begins kissing him, lips first plastered to his neck and Liam releases a small moan at the toach. Harry’s never kissed him there before and all Liam can think about is how he wants Harry to do it again and again. But Harry is working his way down, hands rubbing all over his body and gripping at his arms as he goes further, softly tracing his tongue along the edges of Liam’s hip lines.

Harry parts Liam’s legs and Liam is not expecting it when Harry kisses his way down even further, past Liam’s erection and stopping at his bum. Then Liam can feel Harry’s tongue against the ring of muscle there and once again, he’s experiencing something he never has before. Harry’s tongue feels so good as it moves in and out of him, the perfect amount of pressure and wetness and it ‘s all extremely intimate.

When Harry pulls off he’s asking Liam for lube, but Liam was definitely not prepared for this to happen and responds that he doesn’t have any. He hopes it doesn’t derail Harry’s plans and soon learns that it doesn’t when Harry sits up a little and places two of his fingers into his own mouth. Liam can hear him lightly sucking, and it shouldn’t be that sexy but it is, and when Harry finally removes them Liam can see them coated with his saliva. Then Harry is finally pushing into him and Liam realizes in that moment just how much he missed that feeling.

He works on Liam for a while until Liam can tell he’s loosened up and then Harry removes his fingers, letting his hand trail downwards. Liam can see that he’s touching himself and it causes a flash of arousal to work through Liam’s entire body. Then Harry is using his other hand to lift up one of Liam’s legs and place it around his shoulder as he dips down to lick at the tip of Liam’s cock, finally pulling it in between his lips. It feels so fucking amazing and things are so much more intense this time, with Harry touching himself and moaning around him. He seems to be enjoying this almost more than Liam. Harry keeps looking at Liam too and even though it’s pretty dark he can still feel the younger boys gaze staring into him. Liam lets a finger brush against Harry’s cheek and he hopes that it doesn’t come off as too sweet. Harry’s eyelashes flicker at the touch and he sucks even harder on Liam’s cock, twirling his tongue around the tip and brushing it against his slit. It’s when Harry finally takes all of Liam into his mouth, nose brushed against Liam’s stomach that he’s ready to come. Liam tries to warn Harry like usual, pushing on his shoulders softly, but Harry keeps moving. Liam tries pushing on him again, not sure how much longer he can hold off and Harry immediately lets go of himself and grabs Liam’s hand, pulling it away. It’s obvious to Liam that Harry isn’t gonna pull off this time and then he’s seeing white and his head feels hot and he finally spills his load down Harry’s throat, which is still contracting tightly around him. Harry continues moving, swallowing all of Liam down and continuing to lick and suck him through it, until Liam can finally begin breathing again.

Harry eventually pulls off, but not before kissing Liam’s cock one last time. He has come dribbling out of his mouth and Harry reaches a hand up to wipe at it, the white fluid sticking to his fingers.

“Taste it.” Harry says, sitting up and putting his hand in front of Liam.

“No…” Liam says automatically. “That’s gross.”

He’s probably being a baby but doesn’t exactly want to taste _himself_.

“It’s not gross.” Harry says again, and the conviction in his voice makes Liam rethink his words.

“Just do it.” Harry laughs and Liam realizes it’s the first time he’s seeing Harry actually smile in weeks. It’s nice to see and he desperately wants to make Harry happy so he lifts his head up and takes Harry’s fingers into his mouth. His come tastes bitter and disgusting but as Harry’s fingers move ever so slightly inside his mouth he can somewhat enjoy this, and in a weird way it’s actually really hot. Against his better judgment he swallows it down and wonders to himself what Harry would taste like.

Harry falls to the side and Liam thinks he’s going to get up but then he’s looking at Liam.

“I’m sorry but I have to get off.” He says weakly and reaches down to stroke his own dick, almost fully hard against his stomach. Liam tries to look away, but it’s impossible and he can’t resist staring as Harry’s erection fills up in his own hands, wetness forming at the tip. Harry licks his lips and Liam instantly wants to kiss them, but of course he doesn’t and just settles for listening to Harry’s breathy moans. If he hadn’t just got off himself he’d probably be coming again because the sight of this is fucking sexy. Harry notices him staring and shifts a little closer to Liam, hand never leaving his cock.

“You wanna help?” Harry whispers and Liam is suddenly really afraid but he says “okay” softly.

Harry turns so that he’s lying on his side and lifts his left arm from underneath him, fingers extended toward Liam.

“Suck.” Harry says firmly.

Liam is hesitant for a moment, slightly disappointed that Harry doesn’t actually want him to touch him or something, but he wants to make this good for Harry.

“Ok.”  

Harry barely gives Liam any time before he’s thrusting them into Liam’s mouth, pressing against his soft lips firmly and relaxing his palm.

Liam isn’t really sure what to do, but he tries to mimic what Harry usually does with _his_ mouth and begins sucking, swirling his tongue around the fingers and moaning purposely loud.

Whatever he’s doing works because soon after Harry is squeezing his eyes shut and holding his breath and then spilling all over Liam’s stomach, forehead pressing into Liam’s neck as he tries to come down from his high.

Harry lies there, breathing heavy, and Liam just stares at the mess on his stomach, wondering how he ever ended up in this situation. He wants so badly to reach a hand down, play around with the liquid, pull some up on his finger and place it into his mouth. He’s dying to know how Harry tastes like but he just can’t seem to work up the nerve to do it.

Eventually Liam has to get up to clean himself off but he makes his way back to the bed and Harry is seemingly asleep. He doesn’t have the heart to wake him so he just slides back in next to him, pulling the covers over them both.

Liam tries to fall asleep but it’s absolutely impossible and the only thing that he can think about is Harry. He resists the urge to roll over and pull Harry into his arms. Obviously, something has changed here and Liam isn’t quite sure how to deal with it, but it’s definitely not just about sex for him anymore. Maybe it never really was.

Something about Harry is just so… _irresistible_.

 

\--

 

When Liam wakes up the next morning he’s disappointed to find that Harry is gone. It was as if he’d never even been there and Liam wonders for a moment if it was all just a dream. But then he vividly remembers the events of the night before, he couldn’t get them out of his head if he tried, and he realizes that it actually did happen.

Considering the things they’ve done together at this point, it shouldn’t be awkward between them afterwards, but of course it is. Harry won’t speak to Liam, let alone make eye contact with him. Liam can’t help but feel extremely hurt. He isn’t sure why Harry is acting so weird but he’s way too afraid to bring it up.

Days turn into weeks and nothing changes, Harry keeps his distance and Liam is starting to think that maybe that night was the last time ever. Maybe Harry came in unexpected, acting the way he did because it was his weird way of saying it was over? But if that was the case why had he acted so desperate? So needy? Or maybe they had just taken things way too far and now Harry was feeling weird about it. But it’s not like it was Liam’s fault. Harry had practically initiated everything that went down that night.

But then Liam and Harry are left alone together one afternoon, much to Harry’s dismay, and Liam decides to ask him about it.

“What’s going on?” He asks simply, sitting across from Harry at the table and not looking away until he returns his gaze.

Harry looks up but he doesn’t say a word. Liam wonders if he’s playing dumb or if he actually doesn’t know what to say.

“Why are things so weird between us now?” Liam continues.

Harry sighs, then finally responds. “You noticed that too?”

Liam was all ready to be upset, to tell Harry that he’s being stupid but after seeing his face he can’t get mad. Harry genuinely looks conflicted and he feels the guilt rise in his gut. Maybe this was never what Harry even wanted.

“Maybe we took things too far.” Liam says quietly, looking down at his hands and hoping that Harry can’t see the disappointment he feels.

Harry’s quiet again and then he’s finally speaking, Liam feels like he has to strain his ears to hear.

“Yeah. Maybe we should stop.”

Liam nods his head briefly but inside he’s screaming NO. That’s honestly the last thing he wants.

But there’s nothing he can do.

 

\--

 

Then things seem to get back to normal for a while. At least, for Harry. He’s finally talking to Liam again and laughing with him and Liam puts on a good face but inside he’s still trying to cope. You can’t just forget something like that and he wonders how it’s so easy for Harry to do it.

Liam tries not to let himself think too much about it, because when he does he always comes to the same conclusion.

He’s falling in love with Harry. 

But that scares him to death and he certainly will never admit it and it’s a stupid thought anyways. Harry could never reciprocate in that way. He wonders if Harry ever catches him staring, if he knows somewhere deep down what Liam is thinking.

And then one day after one of the shows the boys are back at their hotel, changing out of their clothes and then somehow Liam’s left alone with Harry in the room. It’s charged and weird and Liam wants to just leave but he’s trying really hard to get things back to where they were.

It’s pretty difficult though, with a half naked Harry standing in front of him. And all Liam can think about is that body on top of him. Those hands touching his, that mouth…

Harry catches him staring and it looks like he’s about to say something and then he stops, turns to face away from Liam. But then he’s turning back and he’s looking at Liam with expression that reads _worry_ , or something like it.

“What are you thinking?” Harry says quickly, reaching for his shirt as if to distract himself. Liam’s not exactly sure what he means. And he thinks that Harry probably doesn’t really want to know.

“Nothing” Liam shakes his head and sits up a little straighter on the bed, trying to focus his attention anywhere else but Harry.

“Come on, I know you.” Harry says, holding his shirt entirely still, waiting for Liam to be honest with him.

Liam knows he should probably just get up and leave, or make something up, but he can’t really stop the words from spilling out, “I just don’t know why we had to stop things.”

Now the look on Harry’s face reads shock and he stands completely still, Liam wonders if he’s even breathing. He quickly tries to explain.

“I know you are worried about ruining our friendship, but it’s not like there’s feelings involved,” Liam cringes at his own lie, “and if we can agree that it’s just sex I guess I don’t see the problem.”

Liam says all of it so fast and hopes he doesn’t have to repeat himself, doesn’t think he even can if Harry had asked, but Harry clearly heard him the first time. His face goes from shock, to confusion, to now what looks like anger.

“It wasn’t really sex though was it Liam? Just blowjobs.”

And the way that Harry delivers it sound so harsh. Liam wonders if maybe Harry wasn’t happy with the situation because he wasn’t getting anything out of it.

“Well, maybe we can do more?”

Liam realizes how desperate he sounds right now, but he doesn’t care.

Harry chuckles softly, “you sure you’re ready for that? Everytime I’ve ever tried something new you kinda freaked out.”

“I’m ready.” Liam says with conviction, wanting to show Harry that he’s not scared anymore. “I just need you to teach me.”

Liam’s not even sure how it came to this. What started out as simply helping a friend has now turned into some weird friends with benefits situation that Liam never could have predicted, but he hopes that Harry wants it as much as he does.

And then Harry throws his shirt on the ground, not bothering to finish dressing. He slams the dresser shut, then walks towards the door and Liam thinks that he’s gonna storm out but the he’s turning the lock and heading back towards Liam. He seems a little pissed off, but then he’s telling him, “take off your clothes”.

It’s almost like he’s challenging Liam, like he doesn’t think he’s gonna do it, testing Liam to see if this is really what he wants.

“Right now?” Liam asks hesitantly.

“Now.” Harry says firmly and just stands, waiting.

Liam feels his face flush and his body grow hot, but he has to go through with this. If there’s any chance of being with Harry again he’ll do it.

He starts removing his clothing and feels oddly exposed under Harry’s watchful eye but then Harry too is removing the last pieces of his own clothing and Liam feels a tiny bit better, but still extremely anxious.

“Get back on the bed.” Harry instructs and Liam immediately follows, pushing back on his hands. Then Harry is moving towards him and Liam can already feel himself hardening just with the anticipation. He loves when Harry is in control.

Harry straddles him and pushes on his shoulders so that he’s lying all the way down on the bed. He sits and Liam can feel their erections pressing together. There’s a little bit of tension between them, but it’s also comfortable to Liam and he only now realizes how much he’s really missed this. Liam waits for Harry to do something, but he oddly looks nervous himself now, a big change from minutes before.

He quietly asks, “so if we’re having sex does this mean we’re kissing?”

Liam doesn’t know how to respond. Of course it’s something he’s wanted to do for a really long time but he didn’t think it was going to happen. Somehow, it just seems different from everything else.

“I don’t know.” Liam says honestly. “Would that be too intimate?”

Then Harry laughs and looks at Liam fondly. “I’ve had my mouth around your dick and you think kissing would be too much?”

And then Liam feels stupid, and Harry has a point so he Liam nods slowly.

“Okay. I’ve just… never kissed a guy before.”

Then Harry is looking at him strangely again and Liam can see him internally pulling away.

“We don’t have to if you dont want…” He begins but Liam wants to shut him up.

“There’s a first time for everything right?”

Harry immediately recognizes his choice of words and looks at him oddly, as if he can’t believe that Liam remembered, and smiles, dimple forming in his cheek.

And then Harry is bracing both of his arms beside Liam’s head, allowing himself to fall to his elbows and get closer to Liam. Liam thinks that he’s moving impossibly slow and just wants to fill the gap between them himself but thinks better of it. Harry looks at him for a second; brushes some hair out of Liam’s face before finally leaning down, hand moving to Liam’s chin.

Liam can’t manage to close to his eyes, he wants to see this happen and he can feel the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach as he waits to be kissed.

Harry finally leans in and pecks him softly on the lips; pulls away almost immediately. It’s too gentle. Liam wants more. He bites his lip, hoping that Harry will take the hint but Harry is still just staring at him, breath heavier now.

Liam’s impatience gets the better of him and he leans up into Harry’s space, kissing him again. Harry backs away momentarily, eyes flickering between Liam’s before moving down harder now, pushing his lips against Liam’s and prying them open with his tongue, flicking it roughly inside of his mouth. “Is this okay?” Harry breathes into him and Liam is already nodding, deepening the kiss further still.

If Liam thought he had feelings for Harry before he’s certain of it now. Kissing Harry is even better than all the sexual things they’ve done together. He can’t remember ever feeling this lightheaded over a kiss, this hungry for more. He doesn’t even want to think about how strong his feelings will be once Harry’s inside of him.

He didn’t think it was really possible for things to get even more intense between them, but kissing has certainly done it, and when Harry makes a small noise, it encourages Liam to keep going.

Liam grabs the back of head, forcing his face even closer, grinding his hips upward at the same time. 

Harry immediately reciprocates, pushing just as hard down into Liam and Liam lets his hands trail downwards, along the curve of Harry’s back. His skin feels hot and smooth under his fingertips and he lets them trail lower until he can feel the curve of Harry’s ass under his palm.

As they grind against each other, Liam lets his hand trail inward. He places his other hand on the opposite cheek, pulling it apart slightly so he can work the first hand further in. Harry shivers underneath him once Liam reaches his center, letting his finger rub against it gently. He doesn’t actually push it in, just teases lightly.

Then Harry is shifting their weight, moving underneath Liam and pulling him on top.

At their movement, their lips finally break apart and Liam uses this opportunity to kiss Harry’s neck, trailing lower until sucking lightly on his collarbone. He’s always wanted to do that.

Then Liam can feel Harry’s hands roughly tugging his hair, pulling his head lower. Liam looks up at him.

“Wanna show me everything you’ve learned?” Harry asks sweetly and even though Liam is nervous, he wants more than anything to please him.

He’s just going to go for it.

 

He can’t really believe he’s even doing this as he makes his way slowly down Harry’s chest, kissing every inch of his skin and trying his hardest to make Harry enjoy this. He sneaks a glance up on his way down, and that was probably a mistake because Harry is just staring at him, eyes wide and pupils blown and Liam wonders what he’s thinking. Is Liam doing a good job? He realizes he hasn’t really done anything yet, but he still finds himself worrying. He wants to make this good for him.

He only gets about half way down Harry’s stomach before he finds his chin brushing against the tip of Harry’s cock that’s currently laying flat against this lower abs. He should probably drag this out more, kiss all around and make Harry really ache for it, but he’s growing impatient himself, his nerves getting the best of him, and he immediately darts his tongue out to lick at it as he continues to lower his body.

Harry is sitting up on his elbows, just watching Liam intently and Liam can feel him shift slightly underneath him, widening his legs a little so that Liam has better access. He doesn’t seem to be nervous or shy at all, and that’s extremely intimidating, but it’s also pretty comforting and Liam just keeps going, licking and kissing up and down the length of his cock. When he finally gets his mouth fully around the tip and sucks gently, Harry is whimpering underneath him and Liam knows that he’s doing a good enough job.

“Liam…” Harry whispers softly and Liam pulls off slowly, turning his head to look up at him. “Touch me.”

Liam almost asks him what he means but he thinks he has a pretty good idea and moves his hands so that they are where his mouth is, moving one hand to grip the base of Harry’s dick, the other pressing gently into his sac.

And then Harry is moaning properly now and Liam pulls off a little, lips making the tiniest wet noise as he does so.  He wants to see Harry’s face again but he can’t because Harry is no longer looking him; his head is thrown back and from here Liam can see his eyes are squeezed shut and he’s gripping the bed sheets as if… he’s actually really enjoying this.

Liam lowers his lips (that are now a little glossy from Harry’s pre-come) back over the shiny red tip of Harry’s cock, sliding his mouth down as far as he can go. As he bobs he lets his tongue slide roughly against his slit and around the crown, not trying very hard to mask the little breathy noises that are escaping from his own mouth.

He thinks Harry says his name then, but he can’t really be sure, he’s focusing too hard on this and trying not to talk himself out of slipping one of his fingers slowly into Harry, curving his finger in the way that Harry’s always done with him.

Harry’s a lot more vocal now and Liam almost reaches for his own dick, he’s so turned on just from this. He’s so anxious to get Harry off, to make him come undone underneath him, to taste him, but Harry startles him by sitting up and pushing Liam off.

“Stop…” Harry mutters, barely able to get the words out. “Not yet…” And Liam is pulling away, pushing up on his hands. He doesn’t ask _whywhywhy_ like he wants to, just does as he’s told and waits for Harry to tell him what to do next.

“Grab my jeans… the back pocket.”

Liam’s on the floor in a minute, reaching for them, already knowing what he’s gonna find there.

He retrieves the condom and some lube and tries not to think about the fact that Harry has this all prepared either for Liam or someone else.

Liam holds it out to Harry but Harry doesn’t even move from the bed, just looks at Liam with his dark hooded eyes and tells Liam to put it on him.

Liam can almost feel himself shaking as he sits back a little, tears open the condom and rolls it on probably a little too slowly. His eyes lock with Harry’s for a minute and Liam can feel the tension surrounding them both, now that they’re finally doing what they’ve been anticipating for weeks.

“You sure?” Harry asks softly, but he doesn’t exactly give Liam a chance to back out, he’s already slicking himself up with the lube. Liam nods anyway and then Harrys hands are gripping at his hips, pulling him closer.

For a while now, Liam’s wondered what’d he be like to have Harry inside of him, but he’d always thought Harry would try to have more control. But he stays where he’s at and guides Liam so that he’s hovering above him, Harry lining them up.

Liam’s focus is stuck downwards, staring at them both as he lowers himself painfully slow on Harry’s dick. It feels a little uncomfortable, but not completely unbearable, thanks to all the prep Harry’s done on him previously and Liam suddenly gets the urge to kiss him. He realizes that he can do that now and leans in quickly, hands bracing the bed on the sides of Harry’s head. The kiss seems to catch him off guard a little bit but then a moment later he’s kissing back, pulling Liam’s bottom lip into his mouth roughly and biting at it a little. Liam’s pretty much sitting all the way down now and as they kiss lazily for a while he thinks he should probably start moving, but Harry has another idea.

“Up” he says quietly into Liam’s mouth and pushes on Liam’s bum. Liam sits up but doesn’t pull out completely and then Harry is gripping his hips tightly, keeping them in place.

Liam pulls back from the kiss a little, resting his forehead against Harry’s to watch as Harry starts thrusting his hips upward, fucking into him gently.

After a while of this Liam begins to feel a little guilty, realizing that Harry is doing all of the work and starts moving his own hips downward, increasing the pressure a bit. Harry finally lets his hips relax on the bed and then he sits up, pulling Liam into his lap.

Liam continues to bounce up on his knees, he’s got his hands tangled in Harry’s curls now and Harry is breathing into his collar bone, holding Liam’s body tightly against his own, skin sticking together from all the sweat. The different angle allows for Harry to push in even deeper and Liam’s body jerks a little when Harry hits his prostrate, the familiar swelling in his gut beginning to rise.

It gets worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) when Harry moves his hands firmly around Liam’s cock that’s pressed tight between them. He’s teasing a little, not moving them at all and Liam has to thrust into them as he moves, speeding his orgasm up.

“Fuckkkkk Harry!” Liam breathes out, surprising himself at his own words, but it just feels so amazingly good and he can’t help but wonder why they didn’t do this earlier.

It’s only then that he realizes that Harry must be close too because his grip on Liam is loosening a little and his eyes are squeezed shut again and he’s making these _wonderful_  little noises, so Liam tries to move even faster, gripping the back of Harry’s neck and leaning down to kiss his shoulder.

“Off, off!” Harry is yelling at him and Liam doesn’t want to, he wants to keep going, he’s so fucking close, but Harry is shifting them up (when did he get so strong?) and pushing Liam down on the bed and pulling himself out.

Liam’s never been more sexually frustrated in his life. Without Harry inside of him he feels empty and Harry’s hands are no longer touching him, causing his orgasm to dip way back down.

He barely has time to react though because Harry is ripping off the condom, tossing it to the side somewhere and straddling Liam, pumping himself a few times and then spilling all over him.

His chest and stomach and legs are all soaked in Harry’s cum and Liam instinctively rubs at his legs as Harry continues to stroke himself through it, the last little bit of fluid dripping off. Harry rubs it around a little with his dick, which Liam finds extremely arousing and then he’s collapsing on top of Liam, bodies smearing together. Liam can’t really be mad anymore, not with Harry on top of him like this, breathing hard and arms snaking underneath him, keeping them tight together.

Liam bites at his neck a little, needing more contact and he finds himself whispering “I want to taste it.”

It’s all he’s wanted for the last few weeks now, but he feels completely embarrassed saying it out loud.  Harry pulls up and smirks at him a little mischievously before shimmying back down Liam’s body. Liam’s a little confused until he feels Harry’s tongue darting around his stomach, licking his own cum off off from inside Liam’s belly button. Then Harry is leaning back up into his space, pressing their lips together and pushing his cum into Liam’s mouth, tongues sloshing together. It’s so dirty and a little wrong but it’s fucking hot and Liam swallows all of it down. He never thought he’d actually _enjoy_ the taste, but it’s Harry, and he wants to remember what this all feels like before it’s gone.

He’s still painfully hard but he keeps quiet, letting Harry wipe at the rest of the fluid that’s still all over them both. He thinks Harry is trying to clean it off, but he quickly realizes that he’s just smearing it around, gathering it between his fingertips.

“What are you…” is all that Liam manages to ask before Harry’s got both fingers on Liam’s cock and he’s pulsing his hands up and down.

“Fuck” Liam says again, sitting up and watching as Harry jerks him off, his orgasm so close for the second time now.

He tries to hold back his whimpers but it’s no use and the thought of Harry getting him off with his own come is just too much and Liam is spurting in white stripes over his fingers. Harry doesn’t stop rubbing him until he’s empty.

Liam lets his hands move to his face, covering his eyes as he falls back into the mattress. He can’t believe they just did this.

“Shit… that was…” Liam starts and then Harry is muttering “yeah” at his side and laying down next to him. He too is out of breath and the two of them just lie there for a few minutes, trying to calm themselves down.

“Do you care if I stay?”  Harry asks after a while, even though technically it’s his room.

Liam nods, but Harry isn’t even looking at him right now. “Maybe we should clean up first?”

There’s no way he’ll be able to sleep with sweat and spit and cum just soaking his body and he gets up and heads to the shower, hoping that Harry won’t mind if he goes first.

But then Harry is following right behind him and pulling them both into the shower together, and it’s not exactly what Liam had in mind, but he’s definitely not complaining.

They actually _just_ shower, no sex, which is fine with Liam because he’s pretty exhausted anyway. Harry even washes his hair for him (with Harry’s shampoo!) and kisses him against the shower wall. He’s being really sweet, and Liam tries not to think about the fact that it’s pretty much breaking the rules. They shouldn’t be showering together and soaping each other up, and sharing kisses and acting like proper boyfriends would, but Liam is insanely happy right now and he doesn’t want to think about anything else.

Afterwards they don’t even get dressed again, they just collapse back onto the bed, stained sheets thrown off to the side and actually _cuddle_ underneath the comforter. Another broken rule? Liam isn’t sure. Harry’s all pressed against his side and nuzzling into his neck and his hair smells of his apple shampoo and Liam tries not to think about how this is just sex for him. That Harry really isn’t interested in anything else.

Harry’s actually there when Liam wakes up the next morning. He opens his eyes just as Harry is shifting away, grabbing at his clothes and throwing them on.

“I should get back before the other boys notice I’m gone…” Harry whispers and Liam wants to tell him that they are in his room, that he should be the one to leave or the boys may ask why they ended up switching (and why Harry left all of his things in the bathroom) but Liam ignores it because he doesn’t want to be pushy – plus the boys probably won’t even notice. Harry starts to leave and Liam has to keep reminding himself that this is just an arrangement. That he and Harry aren’t really together, even if it’s fun to pretend for a little while.

But then Harry is sauntering back towards the bed and leaning down and actually kissing Liam goodbye on the lips. It’s really short and rushed and he can tell that Harry feels a little awkward about it, but it still happens and Harry gives him a quick smile before rushing out the door.

Liam gets up. He can’t even entertain the idea of going back to sleep after that.

All day he replays that kiss over and over in his mind a million times. 

Maybe there’s a chance?

 

\--

 

Liam still doesn’t really know what’s going on with them exactly, they never talk about their feelings or what they are and Liam is way too much of a chicken to bring it up so he doesn’t say anything all, just lets it continue, whatever _it_ is.

They’re still fucking, and sleeping in the same bed, and kissing in the shower, and other places too, so at least there’s that.

Liam feels like he’s making progress. Harry seems happy and still initiates the sex most of the time so Liam thinks it could probably go somewhere, maybe.

He worries that it’s still just sex to Harry though and he knows he has to find a way to bring up his feelings.

He decides to do just that about a month after they started having sex, there’s a big party planned for Zayn’s birthday that Perrie put together and Liam thinks that maybe he and Harry could go together. Not _together_ together obviously, because it’s not like anyone knows or could ever know about them, (although Louis maybe has been looking at them a little strange lately, like he’s starting to figure it out) but at least Harry would know. Liam could make them dinner or something before.

He doesn’t have an exact plan, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up too much for that, but he’s hoping to at least ask Harry today.

They have a radio interview and then they’re supposed to meet back at the car in 20 minutes. They have their own changing rooms and Liam is ready pretty quickly and decides to talk to Harry now while he has the chance. His plan is to be extremely casual about it, but his nerves are bundled inside of him and he has absolutely no clue what he’s even going to say.

He knocks a few times on Harry’s door and then Harry appears, smile wide, and he pulls him into the room harshly, slamming and locking the door behind them.

He barely gets a few feet in before Harry is pushing at him, pinning him against the door, his hips pressing forcefully into Liam’s.

Liam’s brain shuts off because Harry is kissing him; hands threading through his hair and tugging a little and Liam’s finding it really hard to breathe now. He can’t believe the effect Harry still has on him even after all this time.

“You look so fucking hot today.” Harry breathes into his ear and dips his head to mouth at Liam’s collarbone; it’s hidden under his shirt so Harry has to pull at the collar to be able to get to it. “I’ve wanted to do this for _hours_.”

And for a second Liam forgets what he came here to do. It’s too distracting with Harry this close, sucking love bites into his neck and fingers prodding gently at the back of his scalp.

Liam’s content just like this, he could stay here forever but then Harry is pulling at his belt buckle, undoing it quickly and shoving a hand down his pants.

“Harrrrrry” Liam whines as he feels Harry’s slender fingers wrap around the base of his penis, “we can’t.”

Harry tries to shut him up with a kiss and a light squeeze but Liam tries to focus. “We don’t have time.”

Liam barely opens his eyes to see Harry nodding at him, “we do if I go fast.”

It’s a fair argument and Liam accepts it because he’s hardening now and Harry’s hand feels so wonderful pumping around him and he keeps going at this pace, they definitely _will_ have time.

He continues to stroke him for a while longer, and then Harry’s kisses turn filthy, biting at his lips and sucking on the lower one enough to bruise, flicking his tongue in and out and its _wet_.

 “God, you’re so beautiful and so big” Harry spews into his mouth as he pulls off, turning his head downwards to stare at himself still fisting Liam’s cock. Liam follows his gaze. “I can’t wait to have my mouth around you later. “

Liam moans out a little, he’s so close and Harry’s dirty talk is getting him there even faster.

“Harry…” Liam breathes out a little too loud, and Harry moves his free hand to cover his mouth, quieting him.

“I wanna see you come.” Harry breathes into his skin and that’s all that it takes before Liam is pulsing and spilling his load all over Harry’s fist.

Liam tries to catch his breath as Harry moves away and grabs some tissue from the room, then returns and wipes Liam up, tucking him back into his pants and smiling into one last kiss.

“You owe me later”

Harry’s looking at Liam so fondly and Liam still feels like he’s on fire from what just happened. He pulls Harry back into him and just hugs him, holds him tight against his chest, and it’s probably odd, they’ve never really hugged like this before but Harry’s hands are rubbing gently against the back of his shoulders and Liam knows that he just needs to say something.

“Do you wanna come over before the party tonight? We can just, hang out for a bit alone? Just… talk and have dinner or something?”

Liam realizes that he’s basically asking Harry out without even looking at him, but a few seconds later he’s pretty thankful for that because Harry’s body seems to tense up a bit and then he’s pulling out of Liam’s grasp.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He says quickly, looking down at the ground and turning back into the room to grab his bag from the floor. “I just think… we’ve been spending so much time together as it is, I don’t want the guys to get suspicious, ya know?”

And he says it so nicely, and it actually makes sense coming from his mouth that Liam just nods and lets him walk out of the room.

But the second he’s gone and it’s just Liam left alone inside, back still against the door that the hurt finally seeps in.

He’s not sure he can stop having sex with Harry. That’s basically not an option and he’d rather have that then nothing at all, but Harry’s made it more than clear that he wants nothing else from him. And eventually, maybe not today but eventually, Liam will have to accept that.

 

\--

 

When Liam gets to the party around 8 pm he tries his hardest to stay away from Harry. It’s not that he’s mad at him, he has no reason to be; from the start he had known exactly what Harry had wanted from him. But if he’s ever going to accept things for what they are, he needs some space. Harry keeps looking over at him though, distracting Liam and looking like he’s trying to figure something out but Liam keeps his distance.

At one point in the night this girl comes over to Liam and starts dancing with him. He does nothing to push her away. He knows by now that he’s definitely not strait, but a little flirting won’t hurt anyone and he’s trying his hardest to just let go and have fun. She presses right up against him, hands pressing into his shoulders and he kind of wants to push her away but he doesn’t. He catches Harry eye again, who doesn’t look very happy. It sort of eggs Liam on. Harry has no reason to be upset, Liam is single and free to do as he pleases, Harry’s made that very clear. Liam can’t help but feel a little bit of anger towards him for that, and if dancing with someone else will stir some sort of reaction from him Liam’s gonna let it happen.

She takes things a little too far though when she grabs Liam’s head and pushes her tongue down his throat. Even if Liam was into her (and he’s not) he likes to take things slower than _that_ so he gently breaks away and shouts over the music that he needs to get some water – turning away from her. His eyes scan the room to see that Harry is nowhere to be found. He thinks for a brief second that maybe Harry left because he was upset about it, but then reminds himself that Harry doesn’t care and if anything he’s probably be happy that Liam was moving on, putting his attention on someone else.

After about fifteen minutes or so Liam grows restless and decides to head back to the hotel.

On the way back to his own room he finds himself instead stopping in front of Harry’s. He lets himself in with the key Harry gave him earlier and shoves open the door. Harry is standing right inside, he appears to be changing. The buttons on his shirt are undone and Liam can see his entire chest. Liam absently thinks to himself that he’d like to be licking that spot right now but pushes the thought out of his mind. Harry briefly glances at him and then turns his attention back in the other direction.

“What happened to you?” Liam asks innocently. “You left the club early.”

“Wasn’t having much fun.” Harry responds bluntly, not returning his gaze. He rips his entire shirt off then and Liam can see that he’s definitely angry. This upset Liam a little because Harry’s the one that turned _him_ down. He really has no right to be upset about anything, if that’s what this is. Liam decides not to yell and instead plays dumb.

“You should have come and hung out with me then.”

Liam reaches for Harry, hooks his finger through Harry’s jean loops and tries pulling Harry towards him flirtatiously but Harry pulls away almost instantly.

He looks right at Liam. “You looked pretty busy.”

Liam sighs for a bit, tries to ignore the insinuation about the club girl.

Its comments like this that really make Liam wonder but he tries to remember the rules and grabs at Harry again.

“That was nothing.”

Liam tries to look as sweet as he possibly can, hoping that Harry will just drop it and manages to pull Harry into him with more force this time. He gets close enough to kiss Harry once but Harry isn’t reciprocating and Liam finally gives up.

“What is wrong with you?” Liam says probably a little harsher than he means to, but he’s getting frustrated now.

“I’m just not in the mood tonight.” Harry responds quietly, once again trying to move out of Liam’s grasp. But Liam holds him tight.

“Since when?”

Harry hesitates for a second, like he’s thinking about what he’s gonna say and then eventually he spits out, “since you had your mouth on some sluts.”

So Harry really is jealous about her? Liam didn’t think it was really possible and he still doesn’t exactly understand. If Harry and him are just messing around he really doesn’t have a right to be upset.

Liam sighs, “why do you even care?”

He’s trying to pull something, _anything_ , out of him but Harry remains stiff and then finally responds, “you wouldn’t like my answer if I told you… trust me.”

Liam honestly has no clue what he means by that and tries to press him for answers.

“I don’t get it… are you actually jealous?” Liam dares and once again Harry doesn’t respond. “That’s pretty fucked up Harry. If this is just sex then why are you concerned about who I’m kissing?”

Harry looks confused himself and even a little bit... hurt?

He shakes his head and then actually manages to step away from Liam.

“Okay, I know we’re just messing around… or whatever, but I don’t exactly want you fucking anyone else. Because I’m not.”

He says the last part really quietly, but Liam finally thinks he’s catching on. Even if they aren’t exclusive and even if Harry doesn’t want him in that way, it still makes sense that Harry wouldn’t want him being with other people at the same time. Liam also wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

“I’m not either.” Liam says firmly and Harry looks back at him then. “I promise. There’s nothing going on with that girl. _She_ kissed _me_. I left to come and find _you_.”

Harry looks a little relieved after that and Liam knows that it doesn’t necessarily mean anything, Harry doesn’t care about him romantically, but at least he’s not messing around with anyone else either.

Liam also feels quite a bit of satisfaction that Harry was legitimately jealous over the entire thing and then he feels a little bad for making him feel that way.

Liam moves toward Harry once again and gets his fingers behind his head, tugging softly on his curls. He looks at Harry with adoration, trying to tell him everything with his eyes that he can’t say out loud. Sex with Harry will never be enough, he’ll always want more, but he’ll take whatever little bit he can. At least for now.

Harry’s about to lean in but then he just looks sad and he pulls away yet again and Liam wonders how many times he can feel rejected in one night.

“I don’t think we should do this anymore.” He whispers so quietly and Liam wishes he didn’t hear it because it’s like a knife to his gut.

“What?” Liam asks, scared. “Why?”

Harry fidgets with his hands a little and then looks back up Liam with sadness behind his eyes, “I’m worried it’s gonna ruin our friendship.”

Liam thinks it’s a little too late for that, he stopped viewing Harry as just a “friend” ages ago but he also knows that was Harry is saying is impossible. “It won’t.” Liam gets out and there’s not much more he can say. He’ll have to convince Harry in a different way.

Instead of pulling Harry to him, he gently reaches for his wrist and closes his fingers around it lightly.

“I don’t want to stop.” Liam whispers quietly and raises Harry’s wrist to his mouth. He kisses it tenderly and he can feel Harry’s pulse through his skin. His heart is racing.

Harry isn’t pulling away, just staring at him with sadness in his eyes and _watching_ and Liam pulls on Harry’s wrist and then Harry is even closer. Liam dips his head in and flicks his tongue gently against Harry’s neck, sucks a little so he can feel Harry’s heart beating there too. “Do you?” He asks, looking up Harry with his big brown eyes, grip still tight around his wrist and he see’s Harry shake his head “no” ever so slightly. He can see Harry swallow, trying to catch his breath and suddenly Liam has this urge… this impulse to just be rough with him.

Maybe it stems from a little bit of anger over the entire situation, Liam isn’t sure, but he’s been so delicate with Harry up to this point and he think it’s about time that the roles were reversed.

Liam immediately reaches down and pushes Harry’s trousers all the way off, only just now realizing that they’ve been unbuttoned this entire time. Then he rips his own shirt over his head and grabs the back of Harry’s neck hard, pulls the younger boy right against him and finally kisses him, pushes his tongue deep into his mouth.

Liam knows he shouldn’t be doing this again. That Harry is right, it could ruin their friendship. That Liam is already in too deep and things could only get worse if this continues.

_Fuck it._

Liam thinks to himself and shuts off his brain, letting his heart take control.

 

 --

 

Then Liam is pushing Harry backwards, kneeling on the bed and forcing Harry down with him. He pins Harry down and Harry looks genuinely surprised that Liam is being so rough with him. Liam stands back up only briefly, to remove his own pants and then lets himself fall back down on top of Harry.

Finally, Harry’s actually reciprocating and kissing back with just as much force as Liam and it riles Liam up, makes him want to push even harder. He tries to hold back a smirk as he breaks the kiss and holds two fingers up to Harry’s mouth.

“Suck.”

Is all that he says and Harry is looking at him curiously, trying to tell him that he has lube somewhere but Liam shakes his head and repeats his words. Maybe he’s being a little cruel, but Harry did it to him first after all and the thought reminds him of the first time they ever did this.

Harry just _stares_ at him like he’s in total disbelief, Liam can hardly believe it himself, but he obeys and gets his mouth around Liam’s digits soon after. As he sucks and moves his tongue around he lets his eyes fall closed and Liam can’t help the smile that’s forming on his own face. His fingers slide in deeper and it’s so hot that Harry can get them so far down, (but not surprising considering he’s gotten other things just as deep)  and Liam lets his thumb brush gently against his upper lip. When Liam feels like he’s tortured Harry long enough he pulls his slick fingers out and immediately moves then underneath Harry’s bum, setting them in place. He teases a little before actually pushing in and loosely fingers his hole; staring at him the entire time.

Liam can’t figure out what Harry is thinking, what expression he’s wearing on his face, but it doesn’t matter, he’s so turned on right now and he finally pushes in, not even bothering to go that slow. He shallowly enters Harry with his fingers, quickly moving in and out and his other hand finds its way to his own cock. Liam strokes himself slowly, just trying to increase the pressure gradually and not work himself up too much. Right now his focus is on Harry and after a while he removes his fingers and places them on Harry’s dick instead, letting his thumb drag against the underside of it.

Harry’s eyes are opening and closing rapidly now and Liam lets himself shimmy further down Harry’s body so that his head is right below his hands and he hears Harry suck in a breath, surprised at  what Liam’s doing right now.

Liam licks right at Harry’s center, which gets another little moan of Harry before finally just pushing his tongue all the way in, as far as he can go. He’s increased the pressure of his hand now and Harry’s dick is flushed and slick and Liam lets his mouth trail upwards, licking at Harry’s balls and pulling them into his mouth. He sucks with just the right amount of pressure (he’s learned this from Harry) and is startled when he feels Harry’s hands gripping his hair. It hurts a little but Liam forgives him because he looks so blissed out right now. His stomach muscles are clenching and mouth is slightly open and he’s sweaty and panting and it’s all Liam’s ever wanted. Liam finally gets his mouth around the tip of Harry’s cock, sucks on it messily, and moves his fingers back to Harry’s entrance, pushing his fingers back in. He takes him down further than he’s ever gone before, Harry’s cockhead rubbing up against back of his throat. He feels like gagging a little but wills himself to keep going, to get Harry there.

“Liam…” Harry breathes out and then he finally comes, spilling hotly into Liam’s mouth. Liam swallows a little bit of it but he pulls off as Harry is still releasing and he can feel  the cum as it splashes on his cheek and lips and down his chin. He keeps his mouth open, sloshes the white sticky fluid around on his tongue and let’s Harry get a good view.

Harry’s expression is absolutely _beautiful_ right now, he looks completely wrecked and his eyes are huge and it makes Liam happier than it should, sending the feeling immediately to his gut.

It’s just what he needed and he spits a little of what’s left into his hand and uses it to slick himself up.

He’s up on his knees and Harry is just watching him again, waiting. Liam wonders briefly if he should ask for a condom but he thinks against it. He trusts Harry and they both admitted tonight that they were only having sex with each other and even though he knows it’s reckless he can’t find himself caring enough to leave the bed right now. Harry must have the same idea because he doesn’t say a word.

Then Liam is gripping Harry’s legs, spreading them a little wider and pushing his bum up and it’s at that point that Harry finally seems to register what’s happening.

“It’s been a while” is all that he says and he looks so fucking adorable and maybe a little scared and Liam immediately finds himself leaning down to kiss the fears away. “Its okay, I got you.”

It’s the first time that Liam’s done this, topped. Harry’s suggested it a few times but Liam had never really wanted to try. He liked having Harry inside of him. But as he pushes into Harry he wonders why he’s never done it before, it feels amazing and somehow like he’s protecting Harry. Harry may be taller than him but Liam is bigger and he loves how he can feel his entire body covering Harry as he thrusts into him.

Harrys hands are in his hair, then gripping his arms, then his back. It’s like he can’t stop touching Liam and it urges Liam on, makes him pound into Harry even harder. He pushes his leg up to get a better angle and leans down to kiss him.

Harry’s tongue dragging against his own as he rams into him, pulling almost completely out and then back in, is sending shivers through his entire body and his orgasm is sneaking up on him quickly. He’s being rougher with Harry then Harry’s probably ever been with him but Harry is calling out his name and dragging his nails against Liam’s back and he knows that he wants this as much as he does.

When Liam finally gets there, when he feels that familiar pull in his gut he slows his movements down.

He rocks slowly into Harry now, pulling him tighter, holding his release off for just a little longer. He just wants to stay in this moment for as long as possible.

“Do you still want to stop things?” Liam breathes into his mouth, stopping the kiss but not his hips.

“No.” Harry pants out, gripping Liam’s shoulders harder and pushes his hips upwards at the same time, trying to increase the friction.

“It won’t ruin things.” Liam continues. He can’t believe they’re having this conversation _now_ but his emotions are running high and he can’t stop the words from tumbling out. “Our friendship is too strong.”

It’s pretty hard for Liam to concentrate, his climax is _almost_ there but this conversation is more important and he brushes a hair lightly out of Harrys eyes, looks at him fondly.

Harry squeezes his eyes shut for a quick second. “It’s not that. That’s not the reason.” He rushes out and Liam continues to rock into him, waits for him to continue.  But he doesn’t say anything else, just leans up and kisses Liam forcefully, biting gently on his lips.

“Harry, what is it then? ” Liam asks with more persistence, slowing even further and staring him right in the eyes.

Finally Harry breathes out, “It’s not just sex for me.” 

Liam feels like he can’t breathe.

“The longer we do this the more I care about you. “

He says it quickly, like he’s afraid of how Liam will respond but Liam can’t believe his ears. He’s saying everything that Liam’s been wanting to say.

“I’ve had feelings for you since… forever.” Harry continues. “And I want to be with you, but I know it’s against the rules.”

So Harry’s been pulling away from him for all these months because he was afraid? Afraid that Liam didn’t feel the same way? Afraid that his feelings would only grow if they kept it up? He’s had the same fears as Liam?

Suddenly everything makes a lot more sense.

“Me too.” Liam says back to him simply, and he can’t help the smile that’s formed on his face as he leans back down to kiss Harry again. “No more rules,” he whispers and leans his forehead onto Harry’s. Harry smiles up him, finally registering his words.

Then Liam remembers where they are and what they are doing and he starts moving his hips quicker now, pushing in as deep as he possibly can and he feels Harry clenching tightly around him.

Harry holds his face in his hands, kissing him gently, urging him through this. “Come on love…”

It’s all it takes and Liam is finally releasing.

He can feel his cum dripping into Harry as he pushes in and out, riding the rest of his orgasm out and watching Harry the entire time. He’s literally _beaming_ up at him and Liam can’t believe they had to be doing _this_ to finally have a fucking conversation about their feelings.

Liam pulls out and immediately Harry’s arms are thrown around him and the younger boy is kissing him all over, hands roaming over every single dip and crease, fingertips digging in, as he whispers _I love you_ into every inch of his skin.


End file.
